|
Who
Can Match us
Indra
Munshi
Most
people greet each other with 'good morning', or 'namaskar' or 'ram
ram', not the Kashmiris. The first thing they say when they see you
is ' have you had your meal' or 'what did you have for your meal
today'. Our preoccupation with food is remarkable. Nothing lights up
our eyes like that many- holed reed does. Make no mistake, the
object under discussion is not a musical instrument, but the muddy
stem of the lotus flower, which the unimaginative call 'bhen', or
just 'lakdi', and we call 'nadur'.
But
the most revered of all the food objects is, of course, goat meat.
Every special occasion is celebrated with mutton cooked in all
shapes, colours, and sizes, flat and round, fatty and lean, big and
small, yellow, white and red. Mutton is beaten, pounded, smashed,
smothered, caressed; fried, cooked, and boiled and turned into a
work of art in the form of Roganjosh, Yakhni, Kabargah, Tabaknate
and many others. (mince dish) for long gulab jamuns.
On
a lower culinary scale, it is just thrown into every possible
vegetable, making the latter fit for greater mortals, that is us.
When the rest of the country fasts or consumes satvik food, one
example being Shiv ratri, we eat every part of the goat and ridicule
others for not being civilized enough to do so. We wax eloquent on
the variety and high quality of mutton preparations in Kashmiri
cuisine. The most sober among us display great pride in this meaty
aspect of our culture. The overwhelming presence of meat in our food
led an innocent vegetarian to once remark, Kashmiris even make their
gulab jamuns out of mutton, mistaking the famous mutzs ( mince dish)
for gulab jamun.
What
fish does to a Bengali, flesh does to a Kashmiri. It evokes feelings
of pride, longing, and tenderness. It alone can transport a Kashmiri
to a higher plane of sheer ecstasy when all experiences merge into
the one divine experience of eating mutton. (Even Kashmiri dogs do
not touch rice, which does not have any mutton, or at least some
gravy, in it). Eating, however, does not stop at the flesh, but goes
on to the bones, which are chewed with a concentration that few
other activities command.
The
only other thing which surpasses our culinary skills is our
linguistic skills. We have a nick -name for everyone, so that a
respectable Janki Nath who may not be very tall, becomes 'Jan tsot',
or a handsome Dina Nath who may have a slight limp becomes 'Din
long', or a namby- pamby persons gets called 'wugra teer',a lump of
very soft rice. Some of the nick- names, however, stick to become
surnames. Some of us are called 'moza' (socks), others 'thal
tzur'(one who steals plates), others mandal (buttocks) and so on.
We have a treasure house of proverbs, which reflect the accumulated
wisdom of this small community. My knowledgeable brother has one for
every occasion. For example, a skilled job assigned to a novice or
an unskilled person is likened to ' having dogs knead the dough'.
But we are at our most imaginative when we curse. There are a wide
variety of curses, ranging from light, playful ones like ' may sand
fall on you' to serious, vicious ones like 'may the lightening
strike you'. We can wish for a stone to fall on our enemy, but
please note, we even specify the weight of the stone-- six maunds.
(We haven't moved to kilograms as yet).
While we talk a lot, we work little.
If
Germans are on one end of work ethic scale, we are on the other. It
is not uncommon for a servant who is asked by his mistress to switch
off the light, to be told to shut her eyes and imagine darkness, so
as to avoid getting up. And, in fact, it is extremely common if you
go to a government office at 11 am to be asked by the officer, 'who
let you in so early' or 'who let you in before 12 o clock', while he
warms his hands over a kangdi and sips his Lipton tea. (All
'English' tea which is which is drunk from a china tea-set is called
Lipton tea). And if you have asked an officer to follow up a matter,
don't expect to be told, politely, to return on a certain date by
which the task would be done. Instead you will be asked very
casually to 'drop in after ten or fifteen days to cast a glance at
what has happened'. Having dispensed with you he will arrange his
muffler, dust his coat collar and comb his unwashed hair and prepare
to settle down to a pre lunch office gossip about who is in which
salary 'grade', who takes how much 'top money'.
But
most of us get ahead in our life. We are a street- smart people with
the gift of the gab. But do not mistake this for courage or prowess.
Basically we are timid at heart. Many years ago, the Maharaja of
Jammu and Kashmir, wanting to prove the valour of his people, had
young Kashmiri lads trained in military skills with a view to form a
Kashmir regiment in the image of the celebrated Gorkha and Sikh
regiments. After a long and vigorous training, the contingent
appeared before the Maharaja, dressed in their uniforms, looking a
picture of confidence. After taking the salute the Maharaja blessed
the contingent and asked them to proceed to the other side of
Banihal to take their orders. At this, the leader stepped forward
and asked, nonchalantly, 'and who shall be our escort, his
highness'.
Can
any one match us?
By
special arrangement with
Kashmir Images, Srinagar
>>>
back |
